i am in steve's email account. apparently he has been emailing with some men about playing the sci fi games he used too. well, as far as i can ascertain, not ALL that he used too.
now sci fi is NOT BAD. Apparently a LOT of men and a LOT of highly intelligent
men, play these games. and a lot of Christian men. a LOT.
as a woman there are things I would rather not be into. I understand as much as i can, that men are into things women aren't.
so in this email steve is telling this guy the games he's into. one of them is called illuminati.
this is the synopsis of it:
They're all around us. Secret conspiracies are everywhere, and where can you find the only truth? Certainly not in the game of Illuminati. Fnord.
The object of Illuminati is to take control of the world. The phone company is controlled by creatures from outer space. The Congressional Wives have taken over the Pentagon. And the Boy Sprouts are cashing in their secret Swiss bank account to smash the IRS! Two to six players compete to grab powerful groups and increase their wealth and power. No ploy is too devious, no stratagem too low, as you scheme your way to victory.
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ok, so MY take on it is..why would someone want that sort of thing in their life..to SCHEME their way to victory? no ploy is too devious, etc. it bothers me.
Cosmic encounter game
Cosmic Encounter is a very dynamic and social game, with players being encouraged to interact, argue, form alliances, make deals, double-cross, and occasionally work together to protect the common good. Most editions of the game are designed for three to six players, although official rules exist for playing with as few as two, or as many as eight, players.
bold and underline is mine. STEVE is dynamic and social?????
from what i've read, ALL of these games are strategy games, thinking games, politics
games. if he has so many strategies WHY isn't he applying them to US?
it's not the first time, and it's not the first lie and he lied again today. i am doing all i can do to get away from Steve but i re-read some page i wrote about how God said he wants me HERE 'when it happens' whatever IT is.
and he said he wrote to his friend tony in atlanta yesterday, from gmail about going to stay there. he lied about it.
he lied today about this guy being annoyed because steve called telling him he'd be late to go see his room for rent. i went too, it won't work out.
but he's lying all the time. Shirl, it is SO HARD to be respectful as I am trying to be to him and live with the knowledge i can't believe him or trust him.
I have asked and asked God...can't I move out, can't I just go somewhere for a while?
I think the answer is, if i go, steve will never go, but i'm not sure that's what God is saying. i said to steve what you said, that God said he can't heal either one of us as long as we're together and steve AGREED!
I feel like a FOOL. I feel like Steve is playing me and has been for some time. I even hugged him today and last nite, trying to ease the tension here and be a good little wife/person/Christian.
there is a side to steve i DO NOT LIKE, the side where he will do or say ANYTHING to keep the status quo and to keep me sedated, as it were. Lord, in the NAME OF JESUS, PLEASE DO SOMETHING and get Steve out of here!