I have learned about myself and God's decrees during this Terri Shiavo debacle.

From the git-go I judged her husband. I sided with her parents. Then, a list I am on called for prayer WITHOUT judging. I prayed and tried not to judge. But I still judged. I heard her parents wanted some of the settlement money. I heard her husband was with another woman and had two kids by her. I dismissed the parents wanting the settlement money, thinking they must have wanted it, like we were told they said, to provide Terri with physical therapy. Then I judged the husband.

I prayed and cried for my sister whom the courts in Florida were murdering. I read a newspaper article, full page in our local newspaper that Michael Shiavo, her husband, had said, 'I will NEVER do something to cause her death', when she was first revived. And I judged.

I judged the State of Florida. I judged the Govenor, the Judge, her husband and finally, her parents.

I became morbidly obsessed with praying about this case. I prayed and asked God to remove this morbidity from me. He told me to forgive another that had hurt me deeply. I did. I felt free. I wasn't obsessed anymore.

I prayed for God's will to be done. I prayed Terri would be taken home, no more suffering.

Three days later God took her home.

Michael Shiavo wouldn't allow her parents in the room while she was dying. Said he didn't want a media spectacle. I judged him.

I read where her husband is going to have her cremated. I judged because I know that's against Catholic policy. Then I found out he isn't Catholic. He had to get a waiver to marry her. And he has to allow the autopsy because that's the law in Florida before a cremation.

Then, I read where anyone who sent in support and condolences to the Schindlers via their website for Terri, will have their contact information sold, by the Schindlers.

I started thinking about the husband. [Take into consideration that EVERY piece of information I have read or heard concerning this case has been from the secular media]. Maybe all he DID want was to have a peaceful ending. Maybe it wasn't about the money. Maybe all I've been spoon fed about this case was not the whole truth. Maybe the husband was right. It's in the Lord's hands now. Michael Shiavo will be judged by God. I cannot judge him, or her parents. I am not in a position to know every last detail, and even if I was, I would NEVER know what was in someone's heart.

That's why God judges the heart.

I still judge the Judge who allowed Terri Shiavo to be murdered. We believed, perhaps erroneously, the USA was a 'right-to-life' country. Perhaps we are far more barbaric than we allow ourselves to think. But I no longer stand in judgement regarding Michael Shiavo or her parents, as far as I know. [I'm very glad I did not contact them via their website though!]

I learned I can't judge based on what I hear.
I can't judge based on what I read.
I can't judge based on what someone tells me.
I can't even judge based on what has been done to me.

Because only GOD knows the heart. I am told to pray, to forgive, to love.
God help me to be all you have created me to be. Give me your grace to freely forgive and love, especially those who have hurt me, rebuffed me and rejected me. Let me be an instrument of your love and forgiveness. In Jesus' name. Amen.