July 26, 2007 What I need to do is: LEARN from experiences, but not internalize them and not be angry at the people, like I have been for so long. THAT Is how people say, 'oh they're just being people' or whatever. Don't hold the problem they created, against them, forgive them and learn from the LESSON it generated. This WHOLE LIFE of mine, anyway, is learning from others and learning from mistakes, so I can be a better person to the next person I meet. For me: I learned: Don't give product away if there are strings attached to it from my end. i.e. Felicia and her aunt. I gave F a lip balm, her aunt came over and whined she wanted one, so I gave her one saying, 'I'm sure there's something at your table I'll want and you can give me a discount on'. Something like that. However THEY DID NOT give me a discount. [NOR did they tell me about the 10% coupon they had in the bag that I found later] Or, before I give something away, ask outright, will you be giving me a discount on YOUR products? Or have NO strings attached. I think that's how, and why, I have stayed angry at so many people for so long. I need to forgive THEM, knowing NO ONE is perfect and NO ONE acts perfectly. Do not hold things like this against them. If they continue to do things like this, just stay away from them. Jesus said, 'Father forgive them, for they know not what they do'. I GET IT NOW. All of us KNOW most of the time when we are being mean, nasty, etc., but we don't care. We are 'in-the-moment' and satisfying our selfishness, our fleshly desires. HOWEVER we do NOT REALIZE, or stop and think of the long term effects of it. When we are angry, we want what we want and we want it NOW. [God give me patience. What would happen if everyone had as much patience as a grain of mustard seed?] People [like me] don't want to give up their RIGHT to be angry or their RIGHT to be nasty or their RIGHT to be hurt. WHY?????? Why on earth would anyone want to keep their right to be hurt? Is it a victim mentality? Is it that that is the only thing we have? [I'm asking God for the answer]. Because it means to lay down my SELF, MY RIGHTS. And sometimes it feels like the only things we HAVE is our anger. I, for one, don't want to live like this anymore. I don't WANT to be angry. Father, in the name of Jesus, I give You my anger and what I think of as my 'rights'. WE, all of us, need to become unoffendable. Here is an excellent article on becoming unoffendable by Francis Frangipane. Not just for others, but for OURSELVES. It's not a flesh thing, it's a spiritual death thing. The long term effects. No matter whether or not someone believes in God/Jesus Christ and what Jesus did on the cross, the FACTS REMAIN. The 'universal spiritual laws'. WHO do you think wrote them???? Laws of the universe were written by God. One of them is what you sow, so shall you reap. If you sow greediness, you will reap greediness, if you sow money, you reap money, if you sow smiles you reap smiles, and so on. So, 'Father forgive them, for they know not what they do', is telling me, they were doing things that had long term consequences. NO ONE knows how long the consequences are and no one knows exactly what the consequences are or will be. Man, it's taken me a LONG time to understand that one. Thank You Holy Spirit! Because only GOD knows the heart. I am told to 'pray, to forgive, to love'. God help me to be all you have created me to be. Give me your grace to freely forgive and love, especially those who have hurt me, rebuffed me and rejected me. Let me be an instrument of your love and forgiveness. And Lord? Help me to walk away without saying anything, only blessing them. In Jesus' name. Amen. Back Shampoo for thinning hair