depression. it's a place where we don't have hope. hope is from Jesus. so are we not trusting in the Lord....or not enough? do we not have hope? is it only where we dare not let ourselves feel? I am depressed. b/c of this 'marriage' to steve. does that mean i have no hope? does it mean i have hope but i am not hoping? does it mean i don't trust God anymore to move in steve? does it mean i am not fit for ministering to anyone? I don't think so. God uses willing'ers. It doesn't matter how we feel, as long as we are surrendered to God, He can use us. dear God, i don't know how to believe anymore. i have hoped and hoped and nothing has changed. so i am left wondering...what do i do now? it's been 10 years of nothing with steve. no conversations, no sex, no intimacy, no responses. no cuddling, no connectivity, no common ground, no humor. enough fighting to last me a life time, and then some. i am absolutely miserable married to him. 11/25/07